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And Just Like That, “You’re Beautiful” Is Chris Brown’s Favorite Love Song

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jamesbluntyourebeautiful

So many people get an F minus in listening comprehension, and I’m talking about the wrecks who dance to U2’s One at their wedding because they think it’s such a romantic love song about a special union. And the messes who thought Foster The People’s Pumped-Up Kicks was about feel-good dancing and not about school shootings. And the parents who had no idea that Kiss From A Rose is about losing your virginity on a rainy day (that’s what it’s totally about, right?) and let their little kids sing it at the talent show. Those same people probably think that James Blunt’s song You’re Beautiful is a romantic love song about a man admiring his love’s beauty when it’s really about a crazed psychopath stalking the woman whose skin he wants to wear. In other words, if Silence of the Lambs became a musical, You’re Beautiful would be Buffalo Bill’s big solo.

While talking to HuffPo about his new album The AfterLove, James Blunt said that people who think his biggest hit is a romantic ballad, either don’t listen to the lyrics or are insane in the head. Because it’s really about a dude who is high on drugs and stalking someone’s girlfriend in the subway. Proud stalker Chris Brown probably just put You’re Beautiful between Every Breath You Take and I Want You To Want Me on his Spotify playlist labeled: Beautiful Love Songs.

“Everyone goes, ‘Ah, he’s so romantic. I want ‘You’re Beautiful’ as my wedding song.’ These people are fucked up.

You get labeled with these things like, ‘Oh, James Blunt. Isn’t he just a soft romantic?’ Well, fuck that. No, I’m not. ‘You’re Beautiful’ is not this soft romantic fucking song. It’s about a guy who’s high as a fucking kite on drugs in the subway stalking someone else’s girlfriend when that guy is there in front of him, and he should be locked up or put in prison for being some kind of perv.”

To be fair to those fucked-up people, the prude ass radio stations changed the line “fucking high” to “flying high” in You’re Beautiful.  But honestly, everyone should know that there’s something dark-sided about that song, because after about 3 seconds in, you can’t help but want to take a sharp object and murder your eardrums with it.

And some of James’ music may be like acid for the soul, but thanks to his explanation of You’re Beautiful and his friendship with Carrie Fisher, I’m starting to get the mild tingles for the original Ed Sheeran. Help me.

Here’s the yodeling stalker at BBC Radio 2 in London the other day:

Pics: YouTube, Wenn.com

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lkeeney
2 days ago
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This headline made me laugh
Apex, North Carolina
lmoffeit
2 days ago
I don't think I knew that was what the song was about!
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We Redacted Everything That's Not a Verifiably True Statement From Trump's Time Interview About Truth

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President Trump recently participated in an interview with Time Magazine’s Michael Scherer for a cover story about his relationship with the truth. Predictably, this conversation really tested the limits of irony.

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lkeeney
6 days ago
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Apex, North Carolina
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Former NC Gov. Pat McCrory Suggests He's Losing Work Because of His Anti-Trans Legislation

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In a recent interview on the Christian news site WORLD’s Listening In podcast, former North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory alleged that his reputation as an anti-trans bigot has made some companies reluctant to hire him for the consulting services he is currently offering. Last year, McCrory found himself at the center…

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lkeeney
15 days ago
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Ha! Serves this asshat right
Apex, North Carolina
lwscroggins
15 days ago
poor baby
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Hacking

8 Comments and 14 Shares
The dump also contains a list of millions of prime factors, a 0-day Tamagotchi exploit, and a technique for getting gcc and bash to execute arbitrary code.
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lkeeney
21 days ago
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Apex, North Carolina
popular
21 days ago
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7 public comments
jsanders
20 days ago
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EhrMahGodddd!
Lacey, Washington
masseurG
21 days ago
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Hack
Cincinnati
rclatterbuck
21 days ago
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Do these vile perfidious wizards know no bounds?
chrisminett
22 days ago
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All for the alt text!
Milton Keynes, UK
alt_text_bot
22 days ago
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The dump also contains a list of millions of prime factors, a 0-day Tamagotchi exploit, and a technique for getting gcc and bash to execute arbitrary code.
Screwtape
22 days ago
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The CIA dump also includes a surprisingly comprehensive archive of Japanese-style Unicode faces (kaomoji): https://wikileaks.org/ciav7p1/cms/page_17760284.html

ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
fxer
21 days ago
They have table flip, but not table calm??? OUTRAGEOUS!!!! ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)
chrisrosa
22 days ago
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hah. true. #vault7
San Francisco, CA

Man Whose Insurance Is Funded By Taxpayers Says Poor People Should Give Up iPhones for Healthcare

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Utah Congressman and House Oversight Committee Chairman Jason Chaffetz appeared on CNN’s New Day to discuss the new Republican plan to replace the Affordable Care Act and, in doing so, once again confirme that he is a real-life Ebenezer Scrooge.

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lkeeney
22 days ago
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This guy is an asshole.
Apex, North Carolina
lmoffeit
22 days ago
Agree!!
lwscroggins
22 days ago
his picture is in the dictionary next to the definition
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New building code update says you can’t demo unless you’ve got a plan to deal with rats

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Rats are kind of a big deal in Seattle; we’re one of the most rat-infested cities in the country and our local rodents aren’t even a little bit shy about popping up to say hello. Part of the issue is the weather, part of it is the proximity to water, and part of it is the fact that there are a lot of humans moving into the area and the rats smell snacking opportunities and places to live.

There’s also the issue of all that construction. As we learned during earlier days in the Bertha saga, rats get rousted when things get dug up. Additionally, vacant homes and structures are basically a Rat Resort—which means the building boom (and the buildings that are getting snapped up by developers but sit empty for, you know, a while) is causing a lot of rat activity. 

To combat this, the City made an update to the building code which stated that if you’re going to demolish a building, you have to have a written plan detailing how you’re going to keep critters at bay. 

“The rat eradication program must be in place on the project site at least 15 days prior to the start of any demolition or any clearing or grading on the site,” according to the City. “Applicants must provide proof to the Seattle Department of Construction and Inspections that a licensed pest control agent successfully completed the eradication.”

This is great news for local pest control outfits and, thanks to regulations regarding pesticide use, shouldn’t be a problem for groundwater or air quality surrounding demo sites (at least not any worse than a building demolition already is). 

Here’s more information—and if you think there’s a demo in progress that hasn’t satisfied the rat abatement protocol, you can let the City of Seattle know. 

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lkeeney
27 days ago
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Wow! Disturbing!!
Apex, North Carolina
lmoffeit
27 days ago
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"Rats are kind of a big deal in Seattle; we’re one of the most rat-infested cities in the country" 
Seattle
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