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The Cast of Celebrity Big Brother 2 Is Here, and 'The Mooch' Is the New Omarosa

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Constant exposure to Twitter and The New York Times have left me chronically unable to feel joy, but the closest approximation I can fathom is watching 12 Q-list celebrities attempt to pantomime basic human interactions under twenty-four hour video surveillance for $250k and the thrill of being back on TV.

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lkeeney
5 days ago
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Can’t wait for this train wreck!
Apex, North Carolina
lmoffeit
5 days ago
Larry just read me the cast - it is going to be crazy!!
lkeeney
5 days ago
Think I’m most excited about Dina Lohan and Anthony Scaramucci!
lmoffeit
5 days ago
I'm still a Joey Lawrence fan, lol!
lkeeney
5 days ago
He looks so different now I almost didn’t recognize him!
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Science Confirms That Your Parents Love Fake News

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A new study confirms something we all already suspected to be true: people older than 65 are more likely to share fake news on Facebook than people of other ages. Age was a better predictor of sharing fake news than any other factor, including sex, race, income, social media usage, or even political affiliation.

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lkeeney
8 days ago
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Apex, North Carolina
lmoffeit
8 days ago
how sad!
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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Skimmed

2 Comments and 11 Shares


Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
My new website, skimmedit (tm) is just reddit but you can only read headlines and comment on what you think the article is about.


Today's News:
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lkeeney
36 days ago
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Apex, North Carolina
popular
36 days ago
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1 public comment
jlvanderzwan
36 days ago
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What does that say about sharebros like us?
ttencate
36 days ago
Nah, this is social media the way Al Gore intended it.

Welcome to Our Modern Hospital Where If You Want to Know a Price You Can Go Fuck Yourself

5 Comments and 17 Shares

Welcome to America General Hospital! Seems you have an oozing head injury there. Let’s check your insurance. Okay, quick “heads up” — ha! — that your plan may not cover everything today. What’s that? You want a reasonable price quote, upfront, for our services? Sorry, let me explain a hospital to you: we give you medical care, then we charge whatever the hell we want for it.

If you don’t like that, go fuck yourself and die.

Honestly, there’s no telling what you’ll pay today. Maybe $700. Maybe $70,000. It’s a fun surprise! Maybe you’ll go to the ER for five minutes, get no treatment, then we’ll charge you $5,000 for an ice pack and a bandage. Then your insurance company will be like, “This is nuts. We’re not paying this.” Who knows how hard you’ll get screwed? You will, in three months.

Fun story: This one time we charged two parents $18,000 for some baby formula. LOL! We pull that shit all the time. Don’t like it? Don’t bring a baby, asshole.

Oh, I get it: you’re used to knowing a clear price for products and services. The difference is that medicine is complicated and scary — unlike, say, flying hundreds of people in a steel tube across an ocean, or selling them a six-ounce hand-held computer that plays movies and talks to satellites. Anyway, no need to think this through rationally while you’re vulnerable, right? Your head is really gushing, ma’am.

Sure we could start posting prices and discussing our costs, but then it turns into a public debate about transparency, and people get all huffy and self-righteous about $15 pills of Tylenol, $93 to turn on a single goddamned light, or $5,000 worth of sanitary gloves. We’d rather just mail you a bill later for $97,000, full of obscure medical codes you can’t understand. Oh, you like understanding things? Here, maybe this will help:

Hit your head, and talk to a doctor for one minute? $2,500, you idiot.

Want your pesky appendix out? That’ll probably be $33,611. Or it could be $180,000. Shrug. Don’t know. Don’t care.

Need an hour in the ER? How does $15,000-$50,000, sound? Hint: we don’t give a piss how it sounds you stupid fucking helpless human wallet.

Our medical system strikes you as “insane?” Well, you can’t do much about that now. Except of course to go fuck yourself. Yes, ma’am, as a matter of fact, we do have a special room where you can go fuck yourself. Yes, it does cost money to use the room, and no I cannot tell you how much. Want a hint? It’s between $1 and $35,000 per minute. Will you be reserving the go fuck yourself room?

Oh, you think you think we’re cruel and illogical? Well, no one forced you to come here. It’s your decision, you head-injured meatball. Feel free to go out into the parking lot and just die. I suggest you do that out in section F. Try to lean your corpse against a light pole. Our dead body disposal fee is $3.75 and is not covered by your shitty, confusing, out-of-network medical plan.

So, will you be dying in our parking lot today, you pathetic, impotent, walking insurance code? Okay, great! Your husband will get a bill for that soon, and if he doesn’t like it, he can fuck himself too.

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lkeeney
42 days ago
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Apex, North Carolina
lmoffeit
42 days ago
That's crazy!
popular
42 days ago
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sarcozona
42 days ago
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I am never ever going back
BLueSS
42 days ago
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Thankfully, dental procedures are the opposite, in my experience. I usually get provided my out of pocket expenses when I'm being told about the work that should be done.

If only medical could catch up to what's done on the dental side...
ChrisDL
42 days ago
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number one reason i might move away from the US.
New York
freeAgent
42 days ago
My wife is having a procedure done that isn't covered by insurance. She was referred to a place that was going to charge $1,600. She shopped around and found a different place that will do it for $4-500. She had to go back to her referring physician to have a second referral for the procedure sent to the other location. On top of that, my wife and her referring physician are coworkers, so it is not as though her doctor was trying to screw her over. Doctors just aren't aware of the costs for procedures or the differences in cost between facilities. That there can be a 3x cost difference between providers, even in the same region, for the exact same procedure is ridiculous.
ChrisDL
42 days ago
thanks for sharing that. I feel like we all have some version of these stories at this point. a dentist that gives you a bunch of care you don't really need. Or an insurance company rep that says something is covered but then it isn't, and there just doesn't seem to be any real recourse unless you feel like litigating. The other thing that surprised me is that it seems a lot of americans don't realize it doesn't have to be like this, plenty (arguably most?) other countries don't have these issues.
diannemharris
43 days ago
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The only thing that is wrong about this piece is that a lot of the time people don't have a choice and are taken against thier will, unconscious or not, and they still get the bill.
deezil
43 days ago
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Yet again, McSweeney's hits it on the head. (no pun intended)
Louisville, Kentucky
jhamill
43 days ago
That'll be $150 or $15,000. Don't know. Don't care.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Human Nature

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Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Patreon users point out a third possibility wherein people are basically bad but great at knowing what they OUGHT to do.


Today's News:

Hey, it's me and Kelly predicting THE FUTURE



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lkeeney
54 days ago
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Apex, North Carolina
popular
54 days ago
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Hospital Refuses Procedure, Prescribes "Fundraising Effort" for Transplant

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Here is an American story. Hedda Martin needs a heart transplant. She applied for a heart transplant. Shortly before Thanksgiving, the Spectrum Health Richard Devos Heart and Lung Transplant Center in Grand Rapids, Michigan, got back to her to say that she could not have a heart transplant, because she doesn’t have…

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lkeeney
54 days ago
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Apex, North Carolina
lmoffeit
54 days ago
wow, that's crazy!
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